were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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