i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
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I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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