i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just gargled with NyQuil
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
