Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
