What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
