I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
