Swine flu. Run for my life!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
