the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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