obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
