i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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