Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
