i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
