you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
These tits shall not be calmed
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize