i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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