ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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