At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
