C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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