Cold hands, warm shart.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize