I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
