do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
