Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
