WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize