I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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