You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Randomize
