I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
