wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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