Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
