just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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