My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize