McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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