Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
