gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
