i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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