this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
