Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
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