They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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