sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm at about main and main street
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
