her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
