She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
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He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
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You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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