I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
