why im i the only drunk person in the library?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
