youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize