I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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