I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
