this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
