i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
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I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
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Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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