is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
