Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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