At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
a search helicopter?!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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