it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
