she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
