and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
