I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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